The Accidental Switch
by Tankinator175
Summary: Vernon goes too far, an American muggle-gone-wizard gets dragged into the mess, Chaos ensues. Set in GoF. I might use pairings but I can't write relationships so don't get your hopes up. Rated T because chances are, Insane Violence will happen.
1. The Consequences of Accidental Magic

**A/N**

 **This is an insane (and quite possibly self-aggrandizing) plot bunny I had and can't get rid of, that I hope isn't too ridiculous, but it probably is. The concept is: What happens if Harry's Magic reacts and he switches place with… myself (stupid, I know). Then, obviously Dumbledore's going to notice, and both of us get put in Hogwarts. If this sounds too stupid to read (and I assume it does) don't. If you are still willing to read, great! Welcome aboard, because I will be behaving exactly as I would in a normal situation. This obviously spells disaster for Hogwarts as I don't think there is any child so insane as myself, and the people I'm around usually adapt and behave in a like manner. So, If you see people behave OOC, It's the negative influence I have on anyone I'm near. And if I make myself too powerful, It's a combination of wishful thinking and the firm belief that a person's magic is like their personality. Hermione = Prodigy. Neville = Timid. Ron = Lazy but good in a Pinch. Harry = ridiculously powerful. I figure that if I had magic it would need to be fairly strong in order to keep me alive because I tend to get myself in as many stupid situations as Harry. People actually think that in the event of a school shooting nothing short of a lethal shot would stop me from bringing down the shooter in some crazy twist of reality that I seem to specialize in. (They're probably right. I would charge the shooter) Whew, that was a lot. Hopefully you enjoy my story, and if you don't you know where the back button is (I hope).**

 **The Accidental Switch**

 **Chapter 1: The Consequences of Accidental Magic**

Harry Potter was cowering with his back to the wall while wishing that he could hex Vernon into oblivion. He probably would if this kept up. CRACK, was the sound of Vernon's fist against his head. He went flying into the Kitchen table wishing he were anywhere but here. He felt his magic respond, and briefly thought ' _Isn't accidental apparition supposed to be impossible?'_ Before he blacked out.

He woke up in a large double bed, in a crazily messy room. He realized he must have replaced some poor soul, and wondered if that person had been sent to the Dursleys. He was very sorry, but decided nothing could be done by now. He snuck across a hallway and into a bathroom. There he looked into the mirror. He was very clearly wearing a glamour. He realized he must look like the person he replaced. That person was very clearly male, but also had grown out his hair. He also realized that it was too warm to be Britain, and thus, he was outside the ministry jurisdiction. He dispelled the glamour and went downstairs, casting a tempus charm as he went. 6:45. Hopefully nobody was awake. Alas, that was not to be. He ran into what was presumably the boy's father. He had to hurriedly explain everything he knew, which sadly wasn't much, before they decided to wait for Dumbledore to show up, which was inevitable, since nobody knew how to contact a magical. The man informed his family, A short woman, and four children, which introduced themselves as Isak, Ella, Rebekah, and Adam, who were supposedly the boy, whom he now knew to be called Joseph, 's younger siblings. Then the doorbell rang, and he was met by seven youth who looked to be his age. One, with blonde wavy hair that had very clearly recently been dyed purple asked "Where's Fillet?"

"Who?" Harry asked

"Joseph." said another boy.

"Uhm, I don't know how to explain this, but he's probably in Britain right now, and royally mad"

That had them freaked out. "Is it really that big of a deal? My uncle isn't that fun, and he's likely to be smacked around, but it's not like he's dead."

One girl said "My condolences at your loss."

"What?"

"When Fillet gets mad, he tends to be inventively violent, so if you get home to find that your uncle has been subjected the Bloody Eagle, you have been warned"

"The Bloody Eagle?"

After learning about a particularly gruesome Norse method of Execution, Harry followed them to a nearby playground. There, I was introduced to this group, who were called, AJ, Nathaniel, Aiden, Brielle, Sprite, Emmy, and Lizzie, who were the leaders of a Game the locals played. Apparently Joseph was a leader of men, because while he and Sprite headed this group, Lizzie and Emmy mostly followed Sprite, while the others generally went along with Joseph.

Another thing he learned, was that Joseph was a bit unstable, and had Homicidal, Psychopathic, and Suicidal leanings. He hadn't killed anyone yet, or even seriously hurt anyone, but that seemed to be because he had been restrained the times he'd totally gone of the tracks. He also was mostly sane if crazy, as illogical as that sounded, and survival instincts also had a hand in peoples continued existence. There was even a betting pool for when he would kill his first victim, as well as who it might be. The general favorite seemed to be AJ. This was slightly worrisome, but he would be doing Harry a favor if he killed the Dursleys.

When he introduced himself as Harry Potter, everyone exchanged glances that suggested he was a nutcase. So he had to ask "Is that strange? Please don't say that I'm a celebrity here as well."

Emmy said "I wouldn't go so far as to say you're a celebrity, but you are supposed to be a fictional character."

"WHAT?"

"Long story, Joseph is the best person around here to explain it to you."

Grumbling to himself, Harry and the others waited for Dumbledore.

*****CH1CH1*****

Joseph Blomberg, also known as "Fillet" woke up in a small bedroom, which was filled with garbage and broken toys. Deciding this was far too similar to the description of Dudley's second bedroom, he left it and went downstairs. There he met a man who HAD to be Vernon Dursley. Shrugging, he walked up to the mustached walrus.

"Are you Vernon Dursley?"

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT BOY?"

"It would appear that your nephew has accidentally used his "freakishness" a you so delicately put it, to swap places with myself, a regular person with no magic at all, presumably involving a glamour to make me look like him."

Seeing that the man was puzzled, he continued. "As I have no wish to intrude on your valuable time, if you will point me to the nearest train station, I'll be on my way."

Vernon dumbly raised his hand and pointed.

Having overextended the man's mental faculties already, he bid Vernon a good day and left. Halfway out, He bumped into Dudley and his gang. Dudley seemed inclined to smack him around, so Joseph was spared having to introduce himself, not that it would do much good anyway.

Having been bullied himself in the past, he was a fairly competent fighter accustomed to take on multiple people larger than him. As Dudley swung his fist, Joseph stopped it with his hand, before using the other to punch him on the nose three times, and then hooked his leg behind Dudley's own and shoved him. Dudley fell on his butt, and the others stared. The result was a five on one brawl, in which Joseph emerged battered, bruised, but victorious. He continued out of privet drive knowing that Dumbledore would doubtless stop him since harry had left the wards. In fact, he wondered what was taking him so long.

Indeed, as soon as he left privet drive, Dumbledore appeared with protests that Harry couldn't leave the wards. So Joseph had to explain it all over again. In response Dumbledore dispelled the glamour that enshrouded Joseph. Joseph smiled as He stayed roughly the same height and width, But his features changed. Most notable, was that his eyes turned to a blue that was indescribable, due to the fact that they were so featureless. They were about the consistency of paint. They weren't hard, or piercing, or sparkling, or blazing. They seemed to be somewhere between dead and asleep. The other notable thing was that his hair grew out to reach the small of his back, and turned to a darker golden colour. Then they went to pick up Harry.

 **A/N**

 **I don't know if this is a good place to end the chapter, but I wanted to get this out there right now. My writing isn't great, but I hope this wasn't too terrible. Also check out my other story,** _ **The Animagus Champion**_ **. It has five chapters right now, and I'm working on the sixth. That one is a lot more logical, so if you want something that makes sense, go there. Be warned, I suck at writing relationships, much like J.K. Rowling. See you in the next chapter, because a whole lot of chaos is on it's way.**


	2. Two Halves of a Core

**A/N**

 **I'm sorry this took so long, but I got distracted with** _ **The Animagus Champion**_ **, and nothing short of me running into a hole with no idea of how to proceed, along with the wonder that is** _ **Team Fortress 2**_ **, to get me back into this story. So, until I figure out what I'm doing with the fic as well as my life, I will be focusing on this story. Sorry. I would like you to remind you all that I am one of the least sane people you will meet, short of someone with a mental disability.**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Two Halves of a Core**

Joseph and Dumbledore appeared under a tree in the same park as Harry and the others. They walked over, and AJ spent a few minutes teasing Joseph, which culminated in Joseph chasing AJ up a tree, making barking noises until Emmi dragged him back to their group, where Nathaniel was laughing his butt off, at least until Joseph smacked him upside the head.

Dumbledore was going to just bring Harry back to privet drive, until he realized the strange niggling sensation was Harry's magical signature coming from two directions, and it had changed.

Further investigations revealed that in order to power the apparition, Harry's core had bound itself to Joseph as well, and had adapted to reflect the both of them with their personalities. With two souls powering it, it was growing at an unusual rate, leading Dumbledore to decide that he needed to bring them both to Madam Pomfrey.

Getting Joseph's parents to agree with it was much harder, until Dumbledore pointed out that this could be Joseph's life on the line. Even harder to explain, was that there was a good chance that they couldn't unbind the core, and Joseph would have to begin attending Hogwarts.

The thing that proved to be impossible, was to get Joseph's siblings over the fact that Joseph was suddenly magical, and they weren't. This was most notably present in Ella, who was a huge Harry Potter fan, and Isak, who felt that Joseph always got everything. Dumbledore was getting worried that he would have four new Petunia Dursley's on his hands.

However, all was well, and Harry and Joseph went with Dumbledore went to Hogwarts, where the theory was indeed proven correct. Joseph could no more be unbound from Harry's magical core, than one could cut a diamond with a stick. Well, at leased a stick that wasn't a wand. That would be fairly easy, as there were charms for that sort of thing, as well as just straight up transfiguring it into multiple pieces.

The two souls, had proceeded to increase the magical cores strength, and the core had already increased in size by twenty percent. Harry was shocked to discover that he was a fictional character in the muggle world. This was soon cleared up. As it turned out, the original author was a squib by the name of J.K. Rowling. The first three books were accurate to the tiniest detail, but the next for were clearly wrong, as Joseph had gone completely unmentioned, and Harry was confused as to how this was possible. Joseph had a theory to explain it.

The possible science behind the theory was vastly complicated, but the gist was that in accordance with the theory claiming that every choice made split into several universes, one for each possible choice, every story or fanfic was a universe where something had gone different, and split the story. As such, Joseph was here, and likely in another universe, it had been possible to unbind Joseph from the core.

The staff of Hogwarts began to tutor Joseph in the magical classes, and he took to it like a fish took to swimming. Joseph was also sorted, but into Slytherin, which annoyed both Harry and Snape, but Joseph seemed to have expected it.

It took the entirety of the summer, as well as judicious use of a time turner, but by the end of it, Joseph was at Fourth year level. The time turner had also resulted in him aging to the age of a fourth year, instead of that of a third year.

By this point, everyone had accepted Joseph as a part of the magical world, even snape, who had taken a liking to Joseph, as Joseph seemed to excel at potions, accepting that while it was structured, it wasn't limited as a normal field of study, something most muggleborns, including miss Granger seemed to fail to grasp.

At last, it was September first, and the students were about to arrive. Joseph had remembered to inform Harry and Dumbledore of the likelihood that Harry would be entered into the tournament, but it had been decided to not interfere on that point, as they didn't know what negative effects might happen, instead opting to take advantage of their knowledge to avoid Cedric's untimely death.

With that settled, they sat down and waited for the other students to arrive.

 **A/N**

 **What do you guys think? I know that Self-inserts are commonly looked down upon, but I feel that my ideas will create an original spin on the concept. Before anyone asks about the Animagus Champion, I got stuck on how to write the next chapter, as it involves a news article, and I don't want to devote the entire chapter to repeating the previous one. Have fun.**

 **Tankinator175.**


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